12 May 2012

Disney Marvels at Whedon Assembly

If you have been a fan of the core Marvel Studios' films since 2008's IRON MAN, where the beginnings of the "Avengers Initiative" were first teased and carried through into the 2010 sequel as well as THE INCREDIBLE HULK, THOR and CAPTAIN America: THE FIRST AVENGER, then the AVENGERS will not disappoint. In fact, it very well might make you question why the other franchise films weren't as good as this fast- paced, funny, superhero showdown.


Marvel has been very focused and dedicated with the development of its properties under the Disney banner – and they no doubt wish that the Spider-Man and X-Men franchises could return to their fold, as it was the success of these earlier films that brought Marvel Comics out of bankruptcy – and has been providing solid entertainment from its creators and stars alike; by Odin's beard, Sir Kenneth Branagh directed THOR. Enter Joss Whedon, who created a weekly TV show in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER that was a near-perfect example of a live-action comic book, to deliver a heavily-anticipated yet so-easy-to-fail production of getting such a diverse character set in a movie that worked. And worked it did.

The film gets off to a slow and even somewhat murky start as Loki, Thor's mischievous half-brother, played with a Anthony Hopkins-worthy sneer by Tom Hiddleston, appears, escapes from and is responsible for the destruction of a SHIELD HQ as well as the spiriting away of a few supporting characters including Stellan Skarsgard's Dr. Selvig, also of THOR, and Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye, getting the full movie treatment here, all under the semi-impotent glare of Samuel L. Jackson's one-eyed spy Nick Fury. Obviously Loki never saw Samuel L's wallet from another film.

The movie picks up with the re-introduction of Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow as Whedon has some fun showing what moves he could have presented in BUFFY if he had an Avengers-sized budget backing him up, but it truly gets bright when the three protagonists, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, finally appear and, of course, get into a wrestling match to prove who has the biggest repulsor/shield/hammer. Once the team finally assembles, insanity, and the hilarity that often follows, ensues. Oh, and Mark Ruffalo proves that the Hulk can indeed smash.

Joss Whedon's adept skills, he also writes the screenplay, prove to be the other superhero powerhouse as he successfully created a production that pleases the hardcore fanboy who is aware of Thanos, the mainstream movie audience who thinks that Tony and Pepper are destined for each other, and his own loyal, core fan base of Browncoats. Each hero gets their own time to shine in situations worthy of a comicbook splash page. The rough-up dust-up of a third act that entirely deals with the assembled team involved in a street-level brawl in NYC against, what else, an invading alien army, could very well have became tedious, as admittedly, the obligatory interstellar menace is faceless, forgettable and seemingly invented for the sales of action figures, but the action, humor and allure of these powerful heroes is truly something unique and that magic is perfectly captured on the screen.

2008 saw the release of both IRON MAN and Warner Bros.' DARK KNIGHT. The result was that both films set the bar that future genre films would have to follow. In 2012 that bar was set yet again. What remains to be seen is if the upcoming DARK KNIGHT RISES film, as well as the sequels for IRON MAN, THOR and CAPTAIN America, will continue to raise that bar, or if they will all just... assemble.



As Always...
theJOE

25 February 2012

Oscar Rant 2012

To quote the host from an earlier ceremony, “So, where were we?”


My last post summarized the Summer of 2011 as belonging to the comicbook film genre. Indeed, three of the four major hero-in-spandex films were among the year’s top 20 in box office draw – according to boxofficemojo.com – with Thor actually cracking the top 10 ($181 million). Looking further, superheroes may have enjoyed the exposure of the summer months, but 2011, if anything, was the year of the franchise.


The nine top-grossing films on top of Kenneth Branagh’s hammer-fest, interestingly, are all sequels or part of an established franchise. This remains the case with the 11th spot – Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes ($176.7 million) - ending at #12 with Captain America: The First Avenger, yet another comicbook film ($176 million).


Look at that again. Of the twelve highest-grossing films of 2011, only two are not sequels and both of them Marvel Studios films that are, actually, part of a mega-franchise Disney is hoping will be an incredible/uncanny/amazing/invincible moneymaker in 2012 with the release of The Avengers. All told, these twelve films garnered a total well over a staggering $971 million, which is up from 2010’s $926.5 million. Regardless of what the trades report, people are still seeing movies.


True, these top twelve films are summer-time popcorn films and succeed for a reason. They are light, fluffy, non-filling and have broad appeal. Movie producers know that, story merits aside, it is much easier to fill a theater with a coveted demographic to see Transformers 3 than a film about Irish cross-dressers. And while it is right and good that Albert Nobbs receive three nominations, would it not also be proper to fully celebrate all that the cinema has to offer and award one of the top-twelve with something other than Sound Mixing?


For 2012, the highest-grossing film of any of the major Academy Award categories, excluding Animated Features, of which none this year were simultaneously nominated for Best Picture, was The Help ($169.6 million), which ranked the 13th highest. Bridesmaids, up for Original Screenplay, is at #14 ($169 million) then no other Oscar nods until The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, up for Best Actress, at #28 ($101 million). To find the next film up for either Picture or Director, you have to look down the list until #41 for War Horse ($78 million). The film to beat this year that has been leading most of the Guild Awards, The Artist, is not even in the top 100 list bringing in only $24 million.


This is not to shortchange the, ahem, artistry of Hazanavicius’ film, nor to even deny the Oscar-worthiness of the cast and crew. Rather, to once again question the Academy’s uber-snotty elitism and their apparent dismissal of fan appreciation.


When the Academy increased the Best Picture category from five nominations to ten in 2010, the rationalization was to get more people interested; interested in the nominations, the awards telecast and, hopefully, the just film itself. This year that formula was tweaked a little and through whatever mathematical voodoo PricewaterhouseCoopers decided on, there are nine noms. But of those nine, aside from The Help, none were a mega-success. How can these selections help, let’s admit it, the ratings of the telecast if the average Harry Potter-Transformers-Twilight-Hangover-Pirates-Thor moviegoer has not even heard of, let alone gone to see,The Artist, The Descendants and, heaven help us all, Tree of Life?


The 2010 nominations list made it fun to see films like District 9, The Blind Slide and Inglorious Bastards as potential gold-winners. These were movies people saw and were excited about. Looking at just a year ago, two of the ten Best Picture nominations were among the year’s top ten grossing films. Two others made the top 20, including winner big-winner The King’s Speech.


2012 has taken a major step back. Does this mean Thor should have been nominated? Not necessarily. However, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hollows had much anticipation and support backing it making the film akin to previous award-winner Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King to deserve a shot. Bridesmaids had a strong resurgence during the awards preamble and would once again give a true comedy a shot at the top prize, something that hasn’t really been seen since the Full Monty in 1998, dark comedies or dramadies like Juno, Sideways and Brokeback Mountain excluded of course.


As a final selection for the nine noms, how about Super 8? Super 8, writer-director J.J. Abrams’ love letter to his childhood, contained universally-familiar elements of friendship, first love and teenage bucking authority wrapped around a clever and equally-familiar tale paying homage to films of that time: E.T., Back To The Future and Close Encounters Of The Third Kind. One would think that, Hugo aside, a film that caters to the historical ideals of the Academy while also maintaining a distinct handhold on the pulse of mainstream America, would be one of those choices that film snobs and popcorn-eaters alike could nod in agreement to.


Obviously not.


Super 8 did bring in a decent $127 million but was a little lost sandwiched in the summer of super-heroes. It was very lost when it came to nominations as J.J. Abrams’ film did not score one single nom. Not even in the ubiquitous Sound Editing/Sound Mixing categories. This film deserves better than that. It certainly deserves more praise than the despicably-sappy Extremely Loud & Incredible Close, the sentimental War Horse and, excuse me, the nearly-unwatchable Tree Of Life.


Also in question is the blindly-accepted notion that all Best Pictures noms automatically are awarded Screenplay noms. Seeing as how there is barely any dialogue in The Artist, I move to have that nomination revoked from the Original list. Likewise with A Separation getting a Foreign Film entry, a domestic film might be better suited. Such replacements could include the aforementioned Super 8 as well as the smartly-written rom-com Crazy, Stupid Love. Love, by no means a Best Picture contender, did have a great script.


The Adapted Screenplay category is significantly tighter packed with serious contenders (Moneyball should win, but probably won’t). However, Ides Of March seems to be more known for its performances, although Paul Giamatti’s absence from the Supporting Actor category is a head scratcher, and could be dropped. Ides’ replacement, then, could be the Philip K. Dick adaptation of The Adjustment Bureau, a clever love story wrapped around a chase mystery complete with two well-likeable characters.


The Oscars are supposed to celebrate and honor the craft of making film and the enjoyment such brings. A Best Picture should be just that: a timeless film that can be watched at any time. The Artist certainly calls up that great sense of nostalgia, but can it maintain such appeal? One can easily surmise that five years on heads can be scratched and blogs populated with the absurd thought that a silent film won top prize.



As Always,

theJOE

29 August 2011

The Comic Summer of 2011

If at the beginning of the year, maybe during the Super Bowl commercial blitzkrieg and perhaps after Nick Collins ran in a 37-yard INT return giving the Packers a 14-0 lead over Roethlisberger’s Steelers, a do-or-die choice decision was posed asking which comicbook movie I would most be looking forward to during the upcoming summer, hands down that selection would have been Warner Bros.’ Green Lantern. Now, with the summer movie frenzy winding down alongside the remaining weeks of extended daylight and four (or thereabout) films later, given that same do-or-die decision, I am unsure if the green ring-slinger would achieve that unanimous fanboy nod.

The Summer of 2011, if perhaps overbearing and even a tad deluged, was a dream for fanboys with eight(!) comicbook-related films but also catered to the general movie going public with three of the four major releases exceeding the $100M mark and the fourth – Captain America – well on its way proving that these once niche-only films can be a financial success. What went wrong? And what went right? And why didn’t Green Lantern deliver?

Looking at that last question first, Green Lantern did deliver, just not as mainstream-receptive or financially-viable as intended. Despite overall horrible reviews (USA Today called it a “lifeless spectacle’) the film debuted in the number one spot with a weekend take of $53 million. Although certainly not in the same class of 2010’s Iron Man 2 ($128 million debut) or 2008’s The Dark Knight ($158 million debut), Green Lantern was not a financial success, but neither a horrendous flop ending with $114 million in North America and $147 million worldwide; Blu-Ray sales will certainly add to those numbers as will all of that green merchandising.

From a fanboy perspective, Green Lantern was a nearly literal adaptation pulling many elements directly from the comics and giving hardcore fans the planetary expanse of Oa, Tomar-Re, Kilowog and thousands of other Lanterns in the Corps, the seduction of Sinestro, Amanda Waller and even Hal’s family and daddy-issues. For the standard movie-goer expecting the next Iron Man or Spider-Man, the film was too slow, contained too many supporting characters (Amanda Waller, Tomar-Re, Kilowog and the complete Green Lantern Corps) and too many unnecessary plot points (Hal’s family and daddy issues). Regardless of how good the film looks, literal comicbook adaptations don’t always make for great films. Watchmen being the perfect example of this and a warning that the second Wolverine film and rumored Daredevil reboot need to heed.

Deciding on what went right, look no further than Thor as the God of Thunder proved that even slightly-silly films that rely heavily on a factor of fun can make a hefty showing ($180 million US and a worldwide total of well over $447 million). Thor had a few pacing issues – the film’s main story only took place over the events of a few days, yet Asgard eternal is worried about the length of the Odinsleep plus the blonde god and the human scientist chick became soulmates rather quickly - but its occasional tongue-in-cheek smile, letting you in on the joke and level-setting that it’s okay to laugh both with and at the principal events, and scoundrel of a main character, again, made for a fun film and set up the next big piece of an on-going saga.

That next big piece, making Thor a connecting bridge from Iron Man 2 into summer 2012’s Avengers, also adds to this film’s success. The fact that there is a connection with events and characters leading into something bigger adds to the excitement and even harkens back to the time of serials during cinema’s Golden Age. Now, instead of waiting three or more years for the next sequel to arrive, fans need only wait as long as a year to as short as month for next that next piece. Tony Stark in The Incredible Hulk. Mjolnir in Iron Man 2. Hawkeye in Thor. Howard Stark and the Cosmic Cube/Tesseract in Captain America. And, of course, Samuel L. as Nick Fury in all of the above.

Perhaps this connection to something larger, something that can now almost be taken for granted in the Marvel Studios films, was one of missing elements that Green Lantern lacked. While Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan was making hot rod ring constructs or blasting away at Parallax in downtown Coast City, there is no mention of a Metropolis. No tease of a Dark Knight guarding a Gotham City or a scarlet speedster racing through the Mid-West. When Green Lantern makes his not-so big debut in trying to prevent a helicopter crash, not even an utterance of a line like, “He can fly like Superman!” was heard. As it stands now, Green Lantern is the only hero in his own little universe. We can only hope that with Christopher Nolan’s third Batman film, some tie-ins to Nolan and Batman screenwriter David Goyer’s upcoming Man Of Steel film are in place.

Captain America: The First Avenger, then, might be considered the most complete package of the superhero films. Whereas X-Men: First Class had a solid story, its shoehorning into the prior film continuity had many fans, myself included, questioning “Why?”. Cap brought about a sense of honesty and kept the superhero fantasy elements down to a more-believable, and ultimately more entertaining, Indiana Jones-style tone. Even though Cap had a more traditional Marvel-style origin - as opposed to Thor, which was a tale of repentance rather than acceptance – the tone of its storytelling, the modern-day bookends, two separate montages, the quick views into the lives of others, broke away from the normal comicbook fare. By having the film be a period piece, the historical aspects lent to a comfortable familiarity that audiences could identify with more so than perhaps Tony Stark’s sophisticated Malibu mansion.

By now, though, most moviegoers can identify with, easily recognize, and might even be a little bored of, the superhero origin story, which is as formulaic as a lost love rom-com. Those that do tend to break away often do so in the sequel; it is considered that X-Men 2 and Spider-Man 2 far outshine their first installments story-wise. Green Lantern, as an example, could have fared much better by ditching the whole origin back-story of the universe and Corps and simply focused on an Earthman being granted a cosmic genie bottle. With ramped up action, the origin tale being dealt with as key flashbacks and the introduction of one other Corps-member, ala Sinestro, as a mentor, well, not only do you get the Highlander formula, but perhaps even a better-performing film.

Oversaturation of the genre, if not already here, will quickly bring about ennui and a lack of passion from both fans and filmmakers. The product must be better than good, it must be stellar. Otherwise, this genre will go the way of the Western, where only one or two good films are produced every three or four years. On the other hand, with physical comic book sales hitting market lows, the propagation of movies, even bad ones (yes, I’m looking at you Dylan Dog and Green Hornet), might be the sole savior of the medium.

So how did this summer fare for me? Green Lantern looked the best and Captain America was definitely the most complete, but I’m backing Thor as my final answer. The superhero action coupled with the adult trying to outgrow his boyish ways theme and backed with a good cast, gods and mortals alike, made Kenneth Branagh’s film a hammer-throwing pleasure. The next big question being how will this scoundrel of a god handle taking orders from Chris Evans’ all-too-human Captain America let alone how will his personality mesh with that of Robert Downey, Jr’s hyper Type A portrayal of Tony Stark in next year’s Avengers?


As Always,
theJOE

25 February 2011

Oscar Rant 2011

Listening to XM’s Cinemagic channel at this year’s nomination breakfast, the co-host made an interesting observation: no matter how good an individual film might be in the year it was released does not necessarily ensure its status as a classic film in the hearts and minds of movie viewers everywhere. Age notwithstanding, winning films of recent years don’t seem to possess that compelling quality that makes you stop-and-watch while channel-surfing. As good as a film as 2005’s CRASH is, and it deserved to win that year, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m going to stop and watch it, particularly Michael Pena’s emotional scene in which he believes his daughter was shot. And after seeing CHICAGO (2002) once, do you really need to tap your shoes along with Richard Gere again?

Maybe the comfort of a well-aged film does lend to its classic appeal. Looking back 30+ years uncovers a host of great award-winning, repeat-viewing classics. Those numbers flow to a trickle as the years become more contemporary. PATTON (1970), THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971), THE GODFATHER (1972), THE GODFATHER, PART II (1974), ROCKY (1976), ANNIE HALL (1977). Then there is a gap until PLATOON (1986) and again until the 90s brought about SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991), UNFORGIVEN (1992), BRAVEHEART (1995) and TITANIC (1997). The 21st Century might only have one: GLADIATOR (2000). This trend might change now with this new decade that is upon us.

Last year’s addition of five more films to the standing list, although a confirmed ploy to get more viewer ratings for the live telecast, did indeed gather more buzz but also served as a reward to films that probably deserved such merit but in previous years would have been looked over faster than Baz Luhrmann in the editing room. Even though 2010 was still just a two-pony race, films such as DISTRICT 9, INGLORIOUS BASTERDS, UP IN THE AIR and A SERIOUS MAN all received credit, a slap on the back from the Academy signifying a job well done. One could only hypothesize that if there were 10 nominations available in 2009, fan-favorite DARK KNIGHT could very well have been on that list.

This year, and perhaps for the first time since 2004, every Best Picture nominee is a solid one and yes, although there are probably only two or three true front-runners, there could indeed be enough momentum for a few of the other nominees to mount a surprise – but certainly not unwarranted – victory.

On top of that, many of these films are solid enough to stand the test of time. The antics and humor in THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT, the hip and complete now-ness of THE SOCIAL NETWORK, TRUE GRIT’s classic motifs, the mind-bending trippiness and complexity of INCEPTION and, no more need be said, TOY STORY 3. Can not KIDS be the neurotic 21st Century love story counterpart to ANNIE HALL? Can not the skeevieness of WINTER’S BONE’s Mountain Mafia be compared with Michael Corleone’s Cosa Nostra? The dark thoughts of Nina’s SWAN parallel Hannibal Lecter’s? The strife of the FIGHTER’s Mickey Ward and ROCKY’s, well, Rocky?

As strong as this class may be, there are, naturally blatant omissions. Of those previously nominated, INCEPTION seems to fare the worst with its master architect, Christopher Nolan, being absent from the Achievement in Directing category, as well as not being nominated for editing, which surely must be a bad dream (or a dream within a dream within a dream…). BLACK SWAN, as well, got ignored on the costume front (are leotards and tutus too blasé?) and, the film’s most egregious snub, Clint Mansell’s score went unrecognized (ta-ta, Tchaikovsky).

There were also those films whose representation was entirely, or nearly, overlooked. Case in point, Ben Affleck’s THE TOWN. Affleck’s film had Indie chops but a big-movie feel and was adequately successful in the B.O. bringing in just under$ 100 million domestically. The story, a classic heist caper with a believably-surprising love interest added in, contained drama, action and more than a few stressful scenes. It also proved that Affleck has Indie cred as a sophomore director. Yet aside from Jeremy Renner’s most-worthy nomination, this film failed to pick up director, picture or adapted screenplay nods. You couldn’t get away with a crime like this in Charlestown.

The other absent nominee? SHUTTER ISLAND. Yes, SHUTTER ISLAND was released in 2010. You remember this one: Scorsese, DiCaprio, Ruffalo, a Dennis Lehane story with a creepy mystery occurring in a mental ward. Obviously the real mystery is how this was forgotten.

With that, I’d like to take this forum and provide a few corrections to certain nominations. Beginning with the big gun: Best Picture. With slots available for 10 noms, I’d like to give the aforementioned TOWN and SHUTTER ISLAND some recognition. To do so, I propose that TOY STORY 3, which will already win Animated Feature, be removed. And for that other spot, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT. KIDS is, actually, a very enjoyable film with sharp dialogue and enjoyably flawed characters. Given the choice though, I’d much rather see TOWN or ISLAND in its place. Alternately, THE FIGHTER can be removed, but the Academy does seem to enjoy a good boxing flick (See: MILLION DOLLAR BABY, RAGING BULL, ROCKY, WHEN WE WERE KINGS, CINDERELLA MAN, ALI, HURRICANE).

For Adapted Screenplay, again, let’s remove TOY STORY 3 and this time 127 HOURS to make room for TOWN and ISLAND. And for director, Ben Affleck deserves some recognition here as does Christopher Nolan. I propose both Tom Hooper and the always-enjoyable Coens bow out this year.

Finally, in the Original Score category, add both Danny Elfman’s work on THE WOLFMAN, which incorporated classic movie themes along with his usual dark tones, and TRON: LEGACY’s Daft Punk, whose electronica and orchestration is just as powerful, intricate and completely danceable as that of the SOCIAL NETWORK’s Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. Those to be removed would be A.R. Rahman (127 HOURS) and John Powell (HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON). Hans Zimmer (INCEPTION), Alexandre Desplat (KING’S SPEECH) and THE SOCIAL NETWORK are well-deserved nominations. Squeezing in Clint Mansell’s BLACK SWAN would be a tricky task.

Surprisingly, the Academy got all four acting categories right. Peppered within the nominations are fresh faces (SOCIAL NETWORK, TRUE GRIT, WINTER’S BONE), vets (RABBIT HOLE, KING’S SPEECH) and shocks (ANIMAL KINGDOM). And of those four, Supporting Actor is by far the tightest. Any chance a group award can be handed out to these blokes?

The quality of this year’s crop gleaned by the Academy, of course, all has to fall back on the creative process in Hollywood. If writers and directors are able to continue with creative freedom, then actors will produce inspiring performances and moviegoers will continue to pay for movies and rent movies. The business will, and should, follow. Allow the moviegoers to talk about exciting and compelling and original movies. That is what helps define a classic.

06 March 2010

Oscar Rant 2010

The Academy actually had a good idea by expanding the Best Picture category to ten films. Interest, either pro or con, has been garnered with the additions and has, very much so, opened up the race to allow the inclusion of well-received top grossing films – two, count ‘em two(!) sci-fi flicks, a World War II B-film homage and a sappy sports film – along with those few select art house-only hidden treasures – two of which are personal tales of men seeking a destination of sorts, either of which, in a different year, would be a top contender for Hollywood’s Golden Boy but will ultimately lose this year to a film with guns and explosions.

But has the opening of the Best Picture category to include Sandra Bullock films really made the race any more different? Or are there still just the two top contenders along with one possible dark horse making the others – just more of them – as irrelevant as the Mets starting rotation? And can it be that, yet again, those deserving have been overlooked? And for the record, regardless of how many nominees there are, AVATAR definitely gets one of those nods.

This year, the Actor in a Leading Role category is one of the tightest. Jeff Bridges, it can be argued, should have won the Award for his role in 1998’s THE BIG LEBOWSKI (Although was that role really acting? It was certainly a more endearing and lasting performance than Roberto Benigni who won for –excuse me– LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.) and Morgan Freeman’s portrayal as Nelson Mandela is a slam-dunk of a nom. And although Clooney, Firth and Renner are all deserving, perhaps two others should be placed here instead.

Michael Stuhlbarg for his role as Larry Gopnik in the Coen Brothers’ award-worthy A SERIOUS MAN is an actor in every sense of the word as the range of emotions he portrays, often times silently, totally clues the audience in on the turmoil of his character and proves that this mostly television-role actor can play with the big boys. Didn’t Clooney and Hanks also start on the small screen? Sharlto Copley, the every-day middle management corporate warrior turned Prawn-lovin’ revolutionary from DISTRICT 9, like Stuhlbarg, uses his emotions to totally change and evolve, along with his body, directly on the screen moving from pity to scorn to heroism. Even though the Academy snubbed Copley, Sir Ridley Scott did not and cast the South African in another popcorn shoot ‘em up as one Howling Mad Murdock.

The Adapted Screenplay category nominated the wrong former British miniseries. Instead of IN THE LOOP, STATE OF PLAY should have this spot. Believable political intrigue and honest-to-goodness investigative journalism made this a well-written story that harkened back to the likes of ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN. With journalistic movies on the mind, why did THE SOLOIST completely get forgotten?

DUPLICITY, a fast-moving industrial-spy flick with Tarantino-cool dialogue, was also completely ignored. Tony Gilroy, no stranger to awards, will, unfortunately, be eating poppers on his couch in the Hollywood Hills this year as DUPLICITY was not recognized for Original Screenplay or, perhaps, Director. Like with THE SOLOIST, films released in March and April are most often ignored. THE WONDER BOYS, released in February 2000, is a prime example of this, but a season-end re-release garnered the film a Best Song win and an adapted screenplay nom, losing to the very-worthy TRAFFIC.

Another March-released film that, potentially, could have received an Adapted Screenplay nom along with a variety of minor category nominees (such as Costume, Makeup and Art Direction at the very least) is Zach Snyder’s WATCHMEN. Yes, the under-performing hardcore-fanboy gala, although far from a perfect film, was extremely meticulous with look and feel as well as design and dialogue lifting whole scenes directly and pristinely from what is referred to as the greatest Graphic Novel. Although a summertime release might not have generated any more revenue for the film, especially with an already fanboy-heavy schedule including WOLVERINE, STAR TREK and TRANSFORMERS, it might have remained in the thoughts of the nomination committee.

Finally, looking at those indeed nominated, once again those worthy will probably not win due to the Academy’s politics and the money of producers. Vera Farmiga’s character, Alex Goran from UP IN THE AIR, moved from interesting to likeable to betraying and should indeed win. But she’s not the favorite according to most polls and previous award ceremonies. James Cameron will hopefully win for Director. Even though AVATAR probably does not deserve to win for Best Film, as its Dances With Aliens storyline was not the most, well, original, he proved that he is indeed the best he is and what he does, be it here on Earth or out on Pandora, which is a real place, right?! The merging of 3D CGI to ultra-looking reality was as flawless as his craft.

Be it any other year, Henry Selick’s CORALINE would win Best Animated Feature. But damn Pixar and their constant A+ 10-star productions (how dare they!) will win again. Here’s hoping Michael Giacchino’s score for UP wins the award, although, he should rightly win for his not-nominated STAR TREK score.

And who does get the top award, that for Best Film, if not AVATAR? In an AVATAR/BASTERDS/HURT LOCKER-free season, both A SERIOUS MAN and UP IN THE AIR would the neck-to-neck contenders. One, an open-ended Jewish tale was an art-house favorite while the other, Jason Reitman’s slick-yet-familiar airport-themed film, could have proved that the third time is a charm for the young director. Interestingly enough, most films nominated this year all have the potential to win. But it all falls down to what film becomes the media-darling with the most successful word of mouth. What producer will woo the Academy the best? Danny Boyle, for better or worse, was on the upside last year for SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. But overall, wasn’t THE WRESTLER the better film? Yet like it’s main character, Randy the Ram, it became abandoned.

Who will be this year’s SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE? An even better question: who will be this year’s WRESTLER?


As Always,
theJOE

22 February 2009

Oscar Rant 2009

Sunday marks that high-honored tradition when the elite, the powerful, the rich, the beautiful, the famous converge together to pay and give homage to … themselves. Yes, the Academy Awards, in theory, are to gift those deserving recognition for their contributions to entertainment and pop-culture but, those with real power, those producers and studios complete with the pull of money, ultimately decide what is considered beloved, usually their product, and what is drivel. Just like how many heroic and noble deeds are unrewarded with attention, so too do certain elements of much-enjoyed celluloid get lost in the wind of those Hollywood political airbags.

There is a fine balance between accolades deserved on the basis of financial – and popular – success and those of critical. For most instances, these are as separate as Hitchcock and Van Sant’s versions of PSYCHO. Of all of 2008’s winners, the highest box office draw was THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM’s US $227 million. ULTIMATUM won Best Achievement in Editing, Sound and Sound Editing and was not nominated for film, director or actor. And perhaps it should have. By contrast, the award-winning, and quite good, mind you, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, grossed US $61.9 million at the time of the ceremony and took home statues for Directing, Picture, Actor and Screenplay. ULTIMATUM and NO COUNTRY are two completely different movies filmatically (although not, perhaps, in terms of body count), but each equally good on their own and should have perhaps contended against each other.

In 2008, THE DARK KNIGHT grossed US $532 million with a total of more than $900 million worldwide making it the 4th highest grossing film in history (Cameron’s TITANIC still leads the pack by a tip of the iceberg). Runaway hit SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, which has so far accumulated US $88.1 million, and THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON – US $122.5 million – far lead their competition: FROST/NIXON (US $16.9 million), MILK (US $26.7 million) and THE READER (US $19.4 million). However, would it not make sense to honor architect Christopher Nolan for his film that has accrued 8 nods, let alone a gross that is almost double of all nominations combined?

The answer, unfortunately, is that genre films do not get respect. Having the haughty Academy recognize the merits of a popcorn film will occur around the same time as total and complete sense is made out of the two PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN sequels. Because of this, HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY will not win the Makeup category even though the likes of entire Troll Market scene out scopes the Creature Cantina from the original STAR WARS (BENJAMIN BUTTON will win).

Comicbook films are not the only ones that are to be singled out here, so let’s include Westerns and Sci-Fi into the genre niche. 2008 did not produce much from either stable but two noteworthy exceptions should have at least made a few of the minor nominations such as editing, cinematography (both of which really should be held in higher regards along with the Top 6), sound and costume. Those films? Ed Harris’ APPALOOSA and J.J. Abrams’ CLOVERFIELD. By comparison, last year’s Academy did see THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES (2 noms, no wins), 3:10 TO YUMA (2 noms, no wins) and TRANSFORMERS (5 noms, no wins). No wins, just like if you are a Thrasher’s fan, means no respect.

Ignoring THE READER, which most of the American cinema-going population did, along, rightly so, with SWING VOTE, then who was slighted? Aside from the aforementioned Christopher Nolan, perhaps Josh Brolin should have been nominated in the Leading Actor role for his spot on portrayal of George W. Bush in Oliver Stone’s W. Brolin was able to both lampoon and credit the 43rd President and such acting should not be overlooked. But it was. The family-friendly, and OLD YELLER-ending, MARLEY & ME could not sit, heel or run with Adapted Screenplay and Beyonce Knowles cannot scream, “At Last” for her Etta James casting in CADILLAC RECORDS either.

On very rare occasions, the Academy gets it right allowing style and sense to outweigh the politics of the Hollywood Illuminati. In this Century, CRASH and ONCE rightly brought home Oscar over the heavily-favored BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN and not-so enchanting ENCHANTED.

This year, two first-time directors are getting much-deserved recognition and hopefully one of them will be awarded. Danny Boyle is single-handedly responsible for making Ewan McGregor a star (they did three films together, two of which are as slick as Techno), giving heroin a new slang and injecting life into the undead. David Fincher went from directing pop biggest names (Madonna, Michael Jackson, Sting) to giving pop to some of Hollywood’s A-listers (Sigourney Weaver, Brad Pitt (also with a hat trick), Jodie Foster). Regardless of Sunday’s outcome, let’s home this is not the only Red Carpet trip either of these two see.

Not all is lost. Hollywood is the place where dreams can come true and the impossible is all too possible. How else can you explain Uwe Boll’s constant employment? Look at it this way, the Academy even allowed a popcorn movie – and a trilogy at that – to sweep it all it 2004 giving fanboys – and the genre market alike – a little hope and some smiles.

(Side note: supporting actor Sir Ian McKellen was most outrageously snubbed for the first LORD OF THE RINGS installment in 2002 to Jim Broadbent’s performance for IRIS, a film that only grossed US $5.5 million.)

As Always,
theJOE

08 November 2007

Shear-ly a One-Joke Movie

Obviously connections between Jonathan King’s horror-comedy BLACK SHEEP, a ridiculous little film about genetically-engineered sheep that bleat to a murderous rampage, and the early works of Peter Jackson can easily be made. After all, not since DEAD ALIVE – or perhaps the very-underrated FRIGHTENERS – has New Zealand been the backdrop for a schlocky horror film.

Unfortunately, BLACK SHEEP spends entirely too much time deciding if the film is to be either a gory horror-fest, or a light-hearted Spielbergian romp ala ARACHNOPHOBIA or GREMLINS. Nathan Meister’s fear of sheep is a little too forced and the obligatory romance between his character, Henry, and that of Danielle Mason’s lacks any sort of chemistry, genetically-engineered or not.

What was missing from the film is the element of pure sarcasm; an event where the actors can almost get away with winking to the audience in shared knowledge. In a film featuring zombie sheep, the audience is not looking for the sophistication of THE RING or even the horror of NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, rather something akin to what should be this film's goofy contemporaries: the EVIL DEAD trilogy, SLITHER and even SHAUN OF THE DEAD.

BLACK SHEEP does have its charming moments, charming, that is, for those lovers of zombies. The attack during older-brother Angus' speech is the highlight of the film. That and the movie downright looks great. Even aside from Weta’s high-caliber practical effects, the lighting and, in particular, the sets provided a top-notch feel to the production. That creepy drop of nervous anxiety running down your spine was the only feeling missing.


As Always,
theJOE

07 October 2007

Soup

I like soup. Although I don't partake of soups with every meal, they make a great - and often tasty - compliment or appetizer. Here is a list of my favorites.

1. Tomato
2. French Onion
3. Italian Wedding
4. Chicken Noodle
5. Chili
6. Wonton
7. Cream of Mushroom
8. Steak Stew
9. Miso
10. Ramen
11. Minestrone
12. Pasta Fagioli
13. Avgolemono
14. Pho
15. Revenge (best served cold)



As Always,
theJOE

27 September 2007

Lone Wolf and Cub for the X-Box Generation

Glorifying violence - and perhaps even depravity - SHOOT' EM UP certainly revels in the fact that its nothing more than a stunt-laden, high-octane, 21st Century Warner Bros. cartoon. Paul Giamatti's hitman, like Elmer Fudd before him, carries a big gun and certainly doesn't let a thing like wounded pride get in his way. Clive Owen's good-guy, Smith, bounces around and eat carrots continually like the ancestor his character is derived from.

Pure, unadulterated action keeps time with Paul Haslinger's rock-n-roll rhythms coupled with the likes of NIRVANA, AC/DC, MOTORHEAD and MOTLEY CRUE as the ridiculous action and well-choreographed stunts builds on, yet also mocks, all the cinematic gifts once presented by the MATRIX.

Owen's Smith makes a perfectly rascally rogue. Likeable with his own set of morals and is even fatherly as he invincibly flies between bullets with Oliver, his surrogate son, ironically trying to find a safe haven for the little guy.

When not racing, diving, driving or shooting, however, the pace of the film dies in a manner that the two main characters do not. A little background is given hinting at Smith's time as a Black Ops agent and the tragedy that haunts him. Giamatti's Hertz was a one-time profiler. But none of that information is confirmed as it isn't needed. Smith, like Clint Eastwood's Man-With-No-Name, does not need a past as he's clearly a creature of the present. Such in-between scenes do nothing more than create a lag as the viewer anxiously awaits the next scene of action.

Another detouring element is the inclusion of Monica Bellucci's character, Donna. Aside from the cheesecake factor that Bellucci is flatteringly good at, allowing a girl into this guy's action world detracts both Smith's already responsibility-laden mission as well as the plot.

SHOOT 'EM UP, just like any video game, has each scene's stakes getting higher and higher until the final meeting with the big bad boss and the film's farcical end. Writer/Director Michael Davis obviously wanted to give audiences a treat where a thinking man could unplug and enjoy mindless fun with a story that doesn't make much sense to begin with. Davis simply needs to learn not to let go of the accelerator in the case of a sequel.


As Always,
theJOE

26 July 2007

Comic-Con preparation... of sorts

Time for geeking out - and doing something that I have ignored the past three or so years. This coming week is the San Diego Comic-Con, the Super Bowl of Geekdom. I’ve never been to Comic-Con as my preference has always swayed towards the Chicago Wizardworld, which is parallel to Geekdom’s Stanley Cup Finals.

Truly, it is no secret that my passion for the comicbook medium has diminished since the start of this century. Naturally, I still collect and stay on top of most major storylines but after collecting for twenty plus years I am beginning to witness past story ideas, originally new and fresh to me, recycled and updated for the new readers. This generation has already – and is currently undergoing – retellings of the origins for such stalwarts as Superman, Batman and Green Arrow, classic beginnings that were updated, for me, in the mid-eighties.

There are other factors that have no doubt contributed to this slight sense of ennui. Too many mega cross-over storylines. Too many changes in creative teams - a problem which once was becoming near incestuous has, in recent years, opened to celebrated non-comic writers, which are truly hit-or-very-seriously-miss. And, heaven-forbid, too much reliance on the Internet.

Even the mighty lure of the comic convention – a time of celebration, reunion, business rumors, digging through long boxes searching for that elusive key back issue and the brigade of Darth Vader wannabes – has since been bagged and boarded, at least for a little while.

However, one of the upcoming Chicago convention spectacles has once again intrigued me.

The event referred to is voting for the Wizard Fan Awards, something which is analogous to, and holds as much weight as, the MTV Movie Awards. Yet, in similar regard to the MTV awards, any chance for the creators to shine and be given some sort of recognition, even if only in their insular community, is considered both harmless and welcome.

Unlike other fan-based awards, Wizard has set up, Academy-style, nominations for events and creators they deem worthy. Many times these lists contain similar names, thus the desire for that all-important and strangely-absent write-in, but this year’s noms caught my attention. After reading through the list, I soon found myself voting and a little bit of that hard-edged passion began to surface. And I began to smile.

So with that smile still growing, allow me to present, for what it’s worth, my picks along with obligatory commentary.


FAVORITE WRITER
A nice rounding in selections. Brian K. Vaughan (Y: The Last Man and Ex Machina) writes two of the best – and mainstream friendly – comics currently published.
Ed Brubaker might have been the man who killed Captain America, and made the story damn compelling, also writes Daredevil, which is one of the only conventional superhero monthlies I subscribe and proclaim to.
Joss Whedon writes Astonishing X-Men with the same pop-culture mannerisms that made Buffy: The Vampire Slayer great.
My pick went to Geoff Johns who crafted the Infinite Crisis event, a story 20 years in the making.

FAVORITE PENCILER
Both Steve McNiven (Civil War) and Phil Jimenez (Infinite Crisis) deserve accolades for their ability to deal with cast-heavy events.
John Cassaday’s facial expressions perfectly compliment Astonishing X-Men.
But it’s Steve Epting (Captain America) whose stark realism and high-action gets the vote.

FAVORITE INKER
Danny Miki (Moon Knight)

FAVORITE COVER ARTIST

J.G. Jones (52)
But James Jean’s paintings (Fables) are a very close #2.

FAVORITE COLORIST
Dave Stewart (B.P.R.D)

FAVORITE LETTERER
Todd Klein (Fables), whose lettering is easy to read and fun to look at!

FAVORITE EDITOR
Although Tom Brevoort does a good job with Marvel’s heavy-hitters, it’s Scott Allie (B.P.R.D.) who I feel has a better vision on his titles, one of which is Hellboy.

FAVORITE MALE HERO
Daredevil. Again, the single best-written superhero title on the market. And if you are curious, DC’s Justice Society of America is the best team mag.

FAVORITE FEMALE HERO
Just got into the collections of She-Hulk’s new legal-based series; quite fun. However, the nigh-self destructive Renee Montoya (52) is a much more complex and interesting character. Plus she’s the new Question.

FAVORITE VILLAIN
Always a great category. Lex Luthor (52) is the perfect default choice and the inclusion of the sadistically-evil Governor (The Walking Dead) is another great nomination. My choice went with Superboy Prime (Infinite Crisis). What made this version of Superboy so evil is that he never thought of himself as such. In fact, he saw himself as the ultimate hero stopping corruption at every level. And we all know that cliché about the corruption of power. Geoff Johns did a fantastic job scripting this character.


FAVORITE SUPPORTING CHARACTER
Foggy Nelson (Daredevil) is always the perfect candidate for this selection, but loyalties, as always, have been with The Question (52).

FAVORITE ONGOING SERIES
Daredevil. To quote Stan Lee: ‘Nuff Said.

FAVORITE MINISERIES
Infinite Crisis (DC). Marvel's Civil War, which ended in 2007, will no doubt get high marks next year for a truly original story.

FAVORITE ONE-SHOT
Villains United Special (DC)

FAVORITE PUBLISHER
DC

FAVORITE COMIC MOVIE PROJECT

Lots of fun releases this year. High marks to Terry Zwigoff'sArt School Confidential (Sony) and Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns (Warner Bros). My vote goes to the Wachowski’s rendition of V for Vendetta (Warner Bros). They adapted a tight psychological and political mystery into a damn fun action flick.

BREAKOUT TALENT
Ed Benes (Justice League of America), is definitely a good artist and performing an admirable job on a usually cast-heavy title, but sometimes his characters come across too similar in style. Thus, my choice goes to Ivan Reis (Green Lantern). I’ve been a fan of Ivan’s since his first monthly job on Dark Horse Comics’ Ghost.

COMICS GREATEST MOMENT
Spider-Man unmasks (Civil War #2). In front of the entire world. Including J. Jonah Jameson. Does any other event come close? Okay, there was one. The death of Booster Gold (52 #15). But the dude’s a time traveler. He got better. Spidey is still unmasked.

FAVORITE TV SHOW
Outside of sports, there are not too many shows I catch regularly on network TV. One of them is The Shield (FX Networks), which was not nominated. Another one, which was nominated, is Lost (ABC). But season 3 focused – and revealed – way too much about the Others. My vote, then, was easy, but came as surprise seeing as how I didn’t begin downloading the show until very late in its existence: Heroes (NBC). Cannot wait for season 2 to begin.

FAVORITE DVD RELEASE
The aforementioned V for Vendetta (Warner Bros) and Superman Returns (Warner Bros) were both ace releases. Props, and votes, need to go to Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (Warner Bros), which provided a similar, but also different, version of the well-loved film. Remember, since the original release of Superman II back in 1980, there was not a fan-worthy cinematic super-hero/super-villain duke out until 2000’s X-Men. That’s a twenty-year wait, folks. Special mention to the not-nominated Season 1 of Doctor Who; wish Christopher Eccelston stayed on for another go round.



As Always,
theJOE

06 July 2007

Necessary Ingredients to B-Movie Magic

Ridiculous? Sure. Gory? Without a doubt. Cliché? Certainly at times… but aren't those three ingredients the necessary spices that marinate the typical b-grade film to that of a choice cult classic? You bet!

Slither, you see, is bred from a high pedigree of b-film classics, and that’s even ignoring director James Gunn’s connections to all things Troma, attributing the over-the-top gory camp to its grandfather, Evil Dead II, and the sci-fi wackiness to that of its father, Tremors. Gregg Henry’s dialogue is easily imagined as coming from Bruce Campbell while the romantic tensions between Nathan Fillion and Elizabeth Banks are on the same route as Kevin Bacon and Finn Carter. Other family likenesses include snappy one-liners, a well-intentioned and likable rogue who must stand alone against an invasion of body-snatching space slugs and, of course, unexplained dead things. Slither is an entertaining chase that consistently brings just as many laughs as it does screams.

Even before the likes of Shaun Of The Dead, genre-blending flicks of comedic horror have always been one of the most difficult theatric tricks to successfully pull off as that delicate balance of acceptance comes into play. For instance, how much camp can be digested before being conceived as ridiculous or simply too much must fit in with the comedic style and tone of the script. Then, how scary and how gory can the film go without being visualized as either an outright terror or a gooey mess?

Usually, the answer to those questions is probably luck. However, talent and a true desire for the story does go a long way. Aside from the aforementioned films of Sam Raimi and Ron Underwood, examples of these can be seen with Peter Jackson's Dead Alive, Joe Dante's Gremlins and John Carpenter's comedic-actioner Big Trouble In Little China.

There is one more element that must be added to the mix: enjoyment. Regardless if the film brings laughter or shrieks, the final result must be satisfaction in the story, the involvement of the characters and the entertaining aspect that the afflictions within are not happening to you. Slither satisfies all three desires.

So add Slither to that "must see" list of spectacles where the silliness can become real and accepted and experienced over and over.


As Always,
theJOE

29 May 2007

RUSH - "Snakes & Arrows"

RUSH
“Snakes & Arrows”
Atlantic


Once again the Boys from the Great White North change their sound; something they do every three or four albums either to press their artistic limits or to capture – and redefine – the score of the current music scene. Coming off 2002’s Vapor Trails, a bass-n-grunge heavy set of riotous and catchy anthems, Snakes & Arrows is still cool and, albeit, even slightly counter-contemporary, but definitely mellow and lo-fi not making it the most complementary of pieces.

Vapor Trails was released after a six-year-long wait and jumped with intensity. If there was any message the release seemed to generate it was, “We’re RUSH. We’re back. We’re louder than ever.” Snakes & Arrows, then, has a slightly different message. Perhaps it’s, “We’re RUSH. We’re a little older, a little wiser, and maybe don’t have to be so damn loud.”

There is a definite acoustic feel to this release, which plays heavily into the mellow mood. Even Alex Lifeson’s electric work has more of a 6- and 12-string organic rhythm rather than the normal crispness of technicality. As a result, unfortunately, some tracks become instantly forgettable.

RUSH opens the release with their rocking new single, “Far Cry”. “Armor and Sword” has a beautiful composition and arrangement, but the band then tunes it down too quickly as the next three tracks all have a too-similar feel that suppresses any individuality. The second half picks up the pace with “Faithless”, a song that has that great 80’s style b-side quality, the progressive “Good News First” and closes, as it began, with the rocker “We Hold On”.

Snakes & Arrows has three instrumentals interspersed throughout the CD and all of them are complex, beautiful, attention-grabbers that makes you remember why you’re a RUSH fan in the first place: fast licks, pounding bass and beyond-tricky fills. In fact Lifeson’s son, Lexrt, composes and performs the second one, “Hope”, which captures all the magic of the band.

RUSH has built a long-lasting career on artistic changes, longer than many of today’s bands can ever dream of accomplishing. They no longer need to prove themselves as the Tech Masters of Prog Rock who have assumed control. Nor do they need to outdo themselves in the limelight with each new release like a new world man. But nor are they today’s Tom Sawyer. Snakes & Arrows is occasionally clunky both in Peart’s lyrics and Lee’s serious vein of music, but it also knows when to jam, when to sing and yes, the instrumental “Malignant Narcissism” evens allows you an air-drum solo.

As Always,
theJOE

19 February 2007

Comicbook Actioneer is an Easy Ride

The problem with comicbook films is that once the filmmakers decide to distance themselves from the source material, a necessary step that all films face upon adaptation, the core audience immediately goes on the defense. Pleasing said fans is always a difficult task. GHOST RIDER, then, succeeds on the level that it is a fun, comicbook adapted film. However, placed against some its more successful contemporaries, the campy nature of GHOST RIDER is its chief detractor.

The Marvel Comics anti-hero Ghost Rider got his start in Marvel Spotlight #5 in 1972 and the film’s origin resembles the comicbook tale close enough: motorcyclist Johnny Blaze makes a deal with the devil transforming him, at times, to be an fiery instrument of vengeance. Marvel then revamped and updated the character in 1990 completing the skull-like visage with a flaming chain and spikes. Writer/director Mark Steven Johnson takes elements from the classic story and incorporates it with the stylizations of the more modern version in an attempt to please both worlds.

Opening with an origin that unfortunately lasts the entire first – and lengthy – act, the film finally roars into action as the damned Blaze (Nic Cage) fights against the devil’s son, Blackheart (AMERICAN BEAUTY’s Wes Bentley) and his demonic horde. Bentley pulls off the rogue with a smile but at times he and his cronies’ post-MATRIX get-up have all the posturing of an upstart emo band. Even Cage and Sam Elliott, playing his mentor, camp it up at times playing mere parodies of themselves. Topping off the cast is the ultimate Easy Rider, Peter Fonda, playing a laughably-scary devil with a grin-and-a-wink that seems to channel Jack Nicholson.

Once the action begins, the film pits the flaming Ghost Rider up against elemental demons and, predictably, the police. And like all cliché Westerns or their rock-n-roll, comicbook counterparts, there seems to be nothing his American Chopper-possessed bike cannot do, which even comes to his side when whistled like a loyal steed.

What the film desperately lacks is any sense of a real and natural environment. Story aside, what made the SPIDER-MAN and X-MEN films successful is the fact that these unreal events were happening the world right outside the window. Here, the humor – both intended and ridiculous – prevents that barrier from ever entirely withdrawing. Another impediment is the film’s rating. Taking a similar path to the BLADE films and first CROW, Marvel should have pushed for a R rating to truly give the devil his due. More dark horror and less toothy one-liners would have made an electrifying film, something that video game-looking ghosts and goblins cannot properly achieve.

At best, Ghost Rider is a b-grade superhero; his film falls into the same classification. But true fans should already be aware of this. After all, boyhood fantasies of a flaming skull warrior on a tricked out bike can only go so far. This film meets you half the way.


As Always,
theJOE

31 December 2006

Los Angeles - Day 5

"I hope I was able to serve your travel needs today," said the outsourced voice on the other end of the connection. His accent placed him somewhere in South Asia, certainly not in a stuffy LAX terminal where I was standing making the call. I had a sharp intake of breath allowing me a second to contemplate my hopefully resentful and sarcastic answer but then realized I was not in the mood for such biting humor.

"You've got to be kidding me," was my reply quickly adding, "You most certainly did not."

According to an unfriendly United employee obviously unhappy with his unfriendly minimum wage position, I was late for my check in. United's decidedly non-customer friendly policy states that check-in must occur at least 45 minutes prior to boarding. Doing so gives airport security more time with their secondary screening of white senior citizens. After all, it was white senior citizens who were the cause of the terrorist threat that was foiled in Heathrow two weeks before my departure thus preventing me from including Old Spice deodorant in my carry-on.

My Asiana flight arrived late in LAX. My run from the far-away overseas terminal to domestic check-in almost proved to be successful. And here comes the second culprit in my personal blame game.

I was stopped mid-run by a smiling African-American gentleman wearing a light, comfortable-looking blazer. Apparently this was an airport employee; his photo was laminated to a badge hanging from said jacket. Thinking I was going to be informed to slow down – although outside of the Olympics and your neighborhood park, where else can one spy a number of individuals sprinting? - I stopped to listen to this man who asked me for my flight info. I easily procured this memorized information and he calmly told me I had plenty of time. He even went on to tell me exactly which terminal I need to head to.

Thinking I heard the starter pistol fire with his conclusion, I was just about to take off when he then – with that same smile – began to hit me up for money. You see, he wasn’t an airport employee as I am sure you knew from the beginning. I cite jet-lag for my error of judgment. He was collecting money for some sort of charity, although it was probably just for his own wallet. All I had in my pocket was one thousand won – probably worth about one US dollar – that he greedily snatched from my hand proclaiming in satisfaction that his charity accepts all currencies.

I gave up the last of my souvenirs and continued my dash.

But I was late. And no one at the United terminal or at their call center a world away was the least bit helpful. The next flight I could get on included a 10 hour wait. Stuck in LA, I decided to do what everyone in LA does – head for a mall.

The visitor's center in LAX is productively-hidden next to the unclaimed baggage carousel and was staffed by a tiny man who more-than resembled Mr. Miyagi. Unfortunately his wax-on, wax-off advice was no help to this Daniel-san. He told me I should go to the beach at Malibu. I had no intention of heading to a beach with luggage and a laptop so he pointed out two malls for me on a direction-less map. Thank God my taxi driver was much more helpful and dropped me off at the Howard Hughes Center, no more than four miles outside of the airport.

This outdoor mall was as perfect as the weather: a bookstore to waste time in, plenty of eateries to refuel, and a multiplex complete with an IMAX theatre. Even better, there was a bus that went directly to LAX for $1.75; much cheaper than my $15 cab fare out there.

I arrived back at the airport of my discontent two hours early with a belly full of popcorn and lighter attitude after seeing Little Miss Sunshine, an attitude which immediately became heavier.

United informs me that my 10 PM flight has now been pushed back to 1 AM. I am now numb with wasted time. My first thought is to become even more numb by consuming massive amounts of airport-priced alcohol. Unfortunately, everyone else trapped in this particular terminal has the same thought. The tiny airport bar is packed. I doubt that even Mr. Miyagi could slip in and saddle up to the bar for his after-work hit of sake. Plus, baseball playoffs are about to begin and the Angels game is contributing to the crowd.

I look to be entertained by the game from afar by peaking over patrons' heads as I try to get a buzz from secondhand alcohol fumes. I am successful in neither.


Looking back, I should have rented a locker for my bags at the airport. I should have taken one of those "Stars of LA" tours. I should have called the airport and checked on my departure time allowing me to catch a double feature. I should have changed flights back in the Philippines taking me to Tokyo instead of Korea. But limited sleep and well-more than 24 hours of wearing the same clothes can impair anyone’s judgment.

I find it unfortunate that an otherwise successful and interesting trip to a completely different part of the world – a brand new adventure – end so dismally in Los Angeles. I also find it unfortunate that LAX is as unaccommodating for its patrons in function and support as TO is in accepting critiques from the press. If Seoul Incheon International is the Taj Mahal of airports, then LAX is the dumpster situated behind Lincoln Financial Field. Midway, by the way, would be the living room of your crazy neighbor who owns five cats.


Back at work I'm informed that I'll be heading out to South Dakota before the year's end. Here's hoping such plans do not involve LAX or United.


As Always,
theJOE

21 November 2006

Korea – Day 4

I don’t know why Americans complain about the hassles at airports. Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport has it that you cannot leave the Philippines without paying a deportation tax. The cost was 500 PHP, which equates to just under $5 USD. Or the price of a Whopper. I turned my bill – among the last of my pesos – over into the waiting hand of a federally-licensed employee, a dark and slimy slug of a man, who I am certain pocked the money instead of placing it into the cash register.

At least he performed the deed with a smile.

Manila gave me two final send offs. The first was salesgirl working in one of the promenade stores that are squeezed into the margins of the isles. She informed me that her co-worker thought I was cute. I stated that my wife agrees with her.

The second was the furry little rodent, a small mouse or chipmunk, that kept darting throughout the Asiana lounge.

Korea was beautiful. I sat in the main terminal of Incheon and watched the sun’s rays triumphantly arc into the tall, curved windows allowing total access to the skyline knowing that these same rays recently surrendered to darkness back home. With the sun came life. More and more travelers, vacationers and commuters alike, began filling the airport. Lights turned on as the various bodegas sprang to life and commerce.

My day trip into Seoul wasn’t scheduled to depart until 10 AM, giving me four hours to roam around, get breakfast, chat with a few locals, get rid of breakfast in their extremely clean restrooms, and watch a football match’s results from the previous day. As nice as Incheon is, it simply cannot fill in four long, jet-lagged hours when you are on the wrong end of customs.

The day trip into Seoul was extremely pleasant but perhaps too short. This was the guide’s first solo expedition and occasionally struggled with her English. My excitement of seeing this Asian country won out over her detriment and my lack of sleep.

Seoul presented itself as any international city. The new, the modern, the hi-tech was crammed right into the mountain relegating the old, the antique, the historical to back ways and malls. For, as is the case with many old cities, especially on an island, space is always limited.

The tour highlighted the top tourist traps. The Blue House, South Korea’s equivalent to the White House – minus the cowboy hats – was beautifully snuggled between the mountain and river Han as a perfect symbol of power. Next came the Jogye-sa Buddhist Temple and Gyeongnuigung Palace, Seoul’s yin-and-yang representing the current with the display, and the Seoul Museum of History, which would have been much more impressive if English was more prevalent. Perhaps this was simply South Korea’s answer to the entirely-French Louver.

Lunch consisted of …get ready for this… Shabu-Shabu. It was presented as a Korean barbecue, which made the marinated chopped steak come out a lot more tasty then the seafood mess presented back in Manila. My full belly prevented me from saying “thank you” in Korean. Either that or it was my inability in learning the multi-syllabic phrase.

And any tour just would not be complete without shopping. Actually, this tour could have withstood the stop as Korean trinkets are even more cheaply-made there than the junk pedaled in America.

Then, with Shabu-Shabu in my belly, the tour bus headed back to the airport for my eventual flight across the ocean and home. Customs was a breeze and after two Jack-and-cokes, the lights in the cabin dimmed, as did my eyes. America waited for me.

My connecting flight in LAX did not.


As Always,
theJOE

03 October 2006

Manila - Day 3

Welcome to the 21st Century, where the Internet has made our world, our cell phones and attention spans smaller. From SMS IMing and digital communications to MySpace and YouTube to television adverts for web sites. If you are not online, well, you’re totally off. In the Philippines, however, a Third World Asian country, where priorities are obviously different, not being online for a day isn’t the greatest of worries. Or at least it wasn’t for our clients on my third day in Manila.

Wednesday had me hopping around a bit as visiting a couple of different clients were on the agenda. Saw a number of jitney-type buses out on the streets that were totally wild. These vehicles of public transportation were no higher than a standard SUV, certainly not taller than Ford Expedition, but about three times as long and with an open back that the passengers used as a hop-in/hop-out portal. Generally these bus were all stainless steel in appearance like a Hot Wheels car or perhaps like the buses that still appear in old or period-piece movies before businesses realized that moving billboards made much more sense. Luckily America’s mighty corporate influence has yet to make its full presence known in the Philippines, allowing these buses all to sport their own unique look as the drivers seemingly decorate their steeds with outlandish themes: surfin’ Hawaii, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Sylvester & Tweety, Bob Marley and on and on and on. What is equally amazing is that the insides of these buses must totally be tight as one certainly could not stand upright in it. But they were everywhere.

The drive around also allowed me to get a good look at Metro Manila where tall, glass skyscrapers complete with helipads stood side-by-side with shanty-town sheds and their peeling plaster facades and rusted tin roofs. Hardly a love shack. Across the street from the Pan Pacific stood a Buddhist Temple that looked equally out of place as our 21-story hotel. Unemployment, I was told, is not all that high as menial jobs are created simply to keep a workforce in place. Pulling up to our hotel, as an example, would have two or three attendants opening the cab’s door and seeing you into the hotel where another employee would actually push the elevator call button.

None of these sights, however, prepared me for the fact that one of banks we visited, one of the largest Philippine banks, responsible for million of dollars in transactions coming in from abroad, was totally offline for our visit. Problems with their DNS provider. And hey, stuff like that happens, but the point here is that they didn’t really care .”No Internet,” they said with a shrug of their shoulders.

I shrug right back. After all, they flew me around the world on their dime. However, I feel slightly more foolish with my shrug that their indifference swallows whole with a smile. Their lives are right outside, across the street at the Shabu-Shabu. I’m a six-foot Anglo that still has recycled airport air residing in my lungs. But this world is small. I can comfortably retreat digitally: photo gallery of my most recent trip to England, getting the new Ghastly Ones’ release from iTunes, news on the Phillies, even this blog.

”No Internet,” they said.

No good tacos either. But I leave tonight.


As Always,
theJOE

29 August 2006

Manila - Day 2

Am I allowed to discuss clients’ name, work details and meeting specifics in my personal blog? More importantly, do I want to have my work, which is already more invasive than kudzu, occupy space that is supposedly designated for personal freedom? The answer to the latter is obviously no, however, certain events within have a personal demand insisting that some light reveal that which was once hidden.

Not that any of which I am about to reveal was all that hidden to begin with.

Apologies.

The bank, a large, successful bank in the Philippines, had an impressive edifice. The marble walls that greeted us were gray in both stature and ascetics. Gray in attitude was the armed guard who did not make eye contact, but was certainly watching. His M-16 rifle slung over his shoulder pointing down, but ready to unleash the murderous rage that it was assembled for in a second’s notice, a wish that the guard perhaps secretly wanted to grant. The lobby was sunny as was the attitude within. The large atrium with its long teller window was amply staffed welcoming its customers in a style that is very quickly being forgotten in the US. But as we progressed higher, the sun, light and attitude rapidly changed.

The meeting was scheduled for the fifth floor. Within a server room. Not the usual place to display an online system, but seeing as how this was primarily a meet-and-greet to high-level IT staffers, not entirely shocking. But this fifth floor hadn’t seen a paint job since the 1970s. Hallways, offices and cubicles were cluttered, stocked to overflowing capacity, with boxes, monitors and PCs. The computers lining this mass grave were easily 286 and 486s as three-and-a-half-inch drives could be spied on all of them. I was looking for the much-more elusive five-and-a-quarter knowing that they had to exist within the pile. In the server room itself sat an immense dot-matrix computer and more monitors – just monitors – their black soulless screens crying out to be turned on displaying their VGA action just one more time before their eventual retirement.

Here was to be our stage. Fourteen chairs of all different colors and sizes pulled from any available cube or office, sat lined up in two rows. And so we began.


Stage two of the presentation involved a conference call overseas. With London. And New York. Yes, the humor of the situation most certainly did not escape me. I actually traveled to the Philippines in order to have a phone conference with New York City. I had a laugh over that when the agenda was released. But not one of those boisterous, hearty, deep-from-the-belly-and-laugh-out-loud kinda laughs. Nor was it one of those damn-smart, getting-the-in-joke type of short, hilarious burst of laughter one can get from seeing Anchorman or American Splendor. Oh no. This was one of those situations where your body doesn’t know what to do, so instead of crying, you laugh. It’s a weak, sweaty and totally phony laugh. And I laughed.

The time zone difference actually worked out well for this instance. The conference call was scheduled for 8 PM, allowing my party to conduct the affair from the hotel’s business center, which actually ended up being pleasant. Contributing to this change of attitude was the fact that just across the hotel lobby from the business center was one of the lounges and in that lounge was San Miguel beer. Nothing beats conducting business than doing so with a friend or two. Or six. Or seven. And Saint Mike and I were becoming fast friends.


As Always,
theJOE

22 August 2006

Manila - Day 1

Monday in the Philippines was considered to be an off day. Sent here to work, though, this relaxing day of wishful sightseeing and recovering from a touch of jet lag no worse than the Phillies current Wild Card standings was instead spent upgrading our soon-to-be sold-and-recently-downgraded-to-three-star Hyatt Hotel to the very opulent five-star rated Pan Pacific deeper into town and going through my work for the upcoming two-day Q&A blitzkrieg presentation for which this trip was all about. Plus, the monsoon season, much like Kevin Smith’s humor, had yet to fully surrender saturating the island with rain and humidity.

The Pan Pacific features two lounges, one public, one strictly for guests, and boasts a casino, nightclub and eleven different eating establishments. We tried two that night, and kinda wished that number was divided by itself.

Initially my boss, and Indian-by-decent who can generally eat anything, and I were coaxed into the Shabu-Shabu. Sort of like Benehana back home, Shabu-Shabu had a grill sitting in the middle of the table. You then selected from a long, stainless steel buffet table your choice of raw – let me say that again, raw – meat to go into the pot and see it cook before your very eyes. Well, in front of eyes that were interested, which this American was certainly not.

We then settled, no, I think the proper word should be resorted, to eating at a Chinese restaurant across the main hall. Where everything was deep fried. And covered in some sort of seafood-based paste with appetizing names like “oyster paste”. And greasy. And stringy. Haven’t the Philippines yet discovered the ancient recipe for general’s chicken?

Fortunately the Palm Lounge, residing at the top of the hotel’s twenty-one floors, became our saving grace. I was introduced to San Miguel, the Philippines’ answer to Heineken. The lounge offers comfortably-dim lighting and a smashing pool table. Smashing, of course, is what I ended up performing on it as I am certainly no Minnesota Fats. Although, I can twirl a pool stick just as charmingly as Tom Cruise. Plus I’m not a freako Scientologist, so I have Tom beat there as well.

It is with a belly full grease, a bladder waiting to pass San Miguel and my boastful one-upping of an A-list star that my first full day on the other side of the planet came to an end. My room has a magnificent view of both the bay and the streets below me. And it’s still raining. Tomorrow, clients await.

As Always,
theJOE

21 August 2006

Manila - Getting There

The lightning arced sideways in the sky; its electric white and hot blue appearing as a flashbulb pop at a birthday party. Being several hundred feet in the air while viewing this didn’t quite have the same affect however. Surprisingly, the flight was still quite smooth. Or perhaps going on twenty hours of flight-time, I was just numb.


I was going to the Philippines, I was informed, making this not only the longest trip I’ve ever been on for work, but also personally – my previous excursion to a Pacific island was my Hawaiian honeymoon. The itinerary that was provided to me established that I would safely be in the air for most of the day. The term "safely", of course, being the variable, "most" being the constant. From the time I woke up on Saturday morning, which seems like three or four days opposed to the two that the date on my watch shows me, my life was full of acronyms. PHL to LAX to ICN to MNL.

LAX was insane. Not only was the weather extremely hot outside, but the bustle and congestion inside did not alleviate the heat any. A fun observation from LAX’s International terminal was that tall, English-speaking Anglos were definitely in the minority; but that could simply be LA for you. The company sprang for business class, which allowed me access to the Asiana lounge, another treat. Finding it, however, was a bit more of a trick. The end result was pleasant enough, and that’s all that matters.

Asiana’s business class was both comfortable and spacious and the stewardesses did their best to make the 12-hour flight quite not feel like 12-hours. Maybe 10-and-half instead. Between reading, perhaps a three-hour nap and the in-flight movie (The Sentinel starring Michael Douglas, Keifer Sutherland and Kim Basinger, mediocre but watchable, 6 out of 10) it wasn’t until the final hour-and-a-half that I really wanted to be on the ground more than anything. No, there was one thing that I wanted more. I really just wanted to turn around and go back home.

Seoul Incheon International was beautiful. Sleek modern designs placing tall windows in between walls of neutral grays, calming off-whites and wood-paneled floors. Flat screen monitors were conected in every gate broadcasting news and sitcoms. While waiting for my connecting flight – standing, mind you, no use sitting at this point – I was greeted by a church youth group heading to Manila for a week’s vacation. They were a fun and lively bunch with plenty of smiles, everything a church-based youth group should be. I think they were excited to see an American and were able to practice their English a little. We just went through the absolute basics first.

Where was I from? Philadelphia.
Do you know where that is? Just below New York.
How old was I, they asked. I lied and said thirty. They lied right back and said I was both young and handsome.
They wanted to know what I thought of Korea. I truthfully told them I could not wait to explore Seoul some upon my return.

We parted with waves and more smiles.

Flying from Seoul to Manila is when I noticed the lightning. And the rain. Still, the flight itself wasn’t bad. Perhaps business class has better stabilizers than coach.

Manila International was everything Seoul was not. Cafeteria-tiled floors, institutional greens, low ceilings. I was greeted with a blue flag welcoming me to "Bird Flu Free Philippines", which I guess is welcoming in that manically humorous way. What was surprising was customs. Unlike some of the European countries I’ve been to – Italy and France – where incoming customs are a joke, Manila actually has queues, scans your passport and collects the customs form.

The rain hadn’t let up even though monsoon season is coming to a close and the taxi’s heavily-tinted windows did not allow me to get a good view of the ride in. One of the elements of travel that I enjoy the most is that first ride in a foreign city. Even if it’s just a highway, I like to see how the signs are laid out, what the lights look like, the cars on the street. Through the black-glazed windows, I was afforded none of that as only the brightest of signs penetrated. Also penetrating was the driver singing to love rock love ballads. Not much else to listen to on a Sunday night, I suppose.


Monday morning and the rain started up again with a clap of thunder. Hopefully I will be able to post again this evening with a report on my day in Manila.


As Always,
theJOE

02 July 2006

Superman Returns, Upgrades and even Reprises

“They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way.” And the words of Jor-El via Marlon Brando, both spoken from beyond the grave, can not only be referring to the human race, but also director Bryan Singer and his able contingent of writers and fellow producers who delivered a Superman film the likes of which has never been seen – although one could easily ponder that if Dick Donner had access to modern-day technology, this would have been his film as well.

From the ground up, Superman Returns flies. It picks up, in case you haven’t heard, five or so years after the events chronicled in Superman II. Lex Luthor is out of jail and eager to pickup on a real estate scheme similar to his plan in the original Superman: The Movie but this one is of planetary proportions. As a result, Singer and screenwriters Michael Doughtery and Dan Harris wisely move away from bringing in a comicbook-inspired super-baddie to rough up our hero and instead focus on Luthor’s hatred of a “god in blue tights” revolving much of the main fight in a (Super)man vs. nature spectacle.

Whereas the main star of the film is probably the extensive but-brilliantly-done CG F/X, most of the actors step up to bat as well. Brandon Routh’s Reeve-esque performance highlights his ability to be both heroic and commanding as well as stammering and sheepish while performing as the titular bespectacled civilian identity. Two-time Oscar winner Kevin Spacey channels Gene Hackman and plays up Luthor’s sharp smile conning the audience one second and killing them the next. Even Frank Langella’s Perry White seems comfortable. Only Kate Bosworth’s Lois Lane, although adequate enough, seems to lack that passionate fire that makes Lane such a compelling character.

The film is filled with Breakfast of Champions scenes and action staged to please both the general audience and fanboys as well. For those who care, be sure to take note of the nods to Action Comics #1 (1938), Man Of Steel (1986) and a very clever re-cap of Superman’s first two films all told via Luthor’s model train room.

Unfortunately, not even this film is perfect as the results of the finale are dealt with in a depressing manner that not only spoil the mood but also the tempo of the film. Then there is the sub-plot dealing with the mysterious lineage of Lois’ son that perhaps boldly goes into territory that even the much-more brazen monthly comics have yet to go. The pondering of this question really only proves that maybe those comics are best left to such exploration allowing the movies to grow as fantastical companion pieces. Spider-Man’s Sam Raimi might be only director to fully grasp this concept. Until, at least, Christopher Nolan creates another Batman film.

As certain as believing that a man can fly, Singer crafts a tale full of magic and wonder that almost makes the 20-year wait manageable – as long as Singer’s follow-up appears faster, than say, a speeding bullet.

As Always,
theJOE